JACKS ON TWO...
Truthfully, I'm a few hours away from moving that tassel from one side of my cap to the other, and the anxiety couldn't be more prevalent. I have no idea what the real world will be throwing at me. I've come to think my go to phrase is "I'm going to suck at the real world." I can't begin to count the amount of times people have asked, "Are you excited about graduating and starting your job?"
YES and NO.
I'm scared out of my mind. I've always known what was coming around the corner. I anticipated it and acted accordingly. However, times have changed. Here I am, a 22 year old, and I can't find the corner. The uncertainty gives me anxiety, the endless possibilities are nerve-racking to think about, and the grown up adult jargon overwhelms me. Truth be told, I don't know where I'm going to end up following my pending graduation.
So here's what they don't tell you:
1. It doesn't matter how organized you think you are, college manages to discombobulate your every action.
2. You've never experienced hunger until it's 11:14 pm on a Thursday. You've waited all week to cram for the exam at 8 the next morning, and that orange you stole from the caf just won't do your munchies justice, and it sure as hell won't keep you up.
3. Ever heard the phrase, "You'll sleep when you're dead?" You'll manage to abide by that motto every Friday, Saturday and Soccer Sunday, but once class comes around M-F, you'll begin to think sleeping is the only option.
4. Netflix always comes before those last couple of questions.
5. Money?? What is this money you speak of and who has it?? Come on. I just want one taco from Fuzzy's dollar taco Mondays...and you knowwww, the drinks are only 2 bucks!
6. You'll make every stupid decision there is. More than once. And you'll wonder, "Why did I let that happen?" Let it happen. And you know what, let it happen again. Buy those concert tickets and go stay up all weekend with your best friends. Binge watch some HIMYM, and cram later. Buy a dog and watch it turn into your best friend. Get drunk on a Tuesday night for the first time with your best friends while your provider is your DJ for the night. Do everything within reason because if you're as smart as I like to think I am, you'll make all these mistakes, but your mistakes just become memories that you'll have forever.
"If we never do the things we shouldn't, we would never be happy with the things we should."
I've made many lasting friendships here at SFA. The countless memories and unforgettable people helped shape me into the person I am today. Waz, being the kick ass roomate she is, made fun of my singing, picked me up when I died during a Britt workout, and made sure my head was screwed on straight everyday. Mel managed to drive me insane with her seemingly illogical opinions that ended up making sense somehow someway. Lacey always made me smile even if the rain cloud over my head appeared stuck to it's spot. Alex never let me miss out on an unforgettable opportunity, and I have so many spontaneous memories because of her. Plus, the venting sessions were much appreciated. My soccer teammates throughout the years gave me many bruises, cuts, and scrapes, but they were crazy enough to make strength and conditioning practices a joke (in a "I can't believe I'm still alive kind of way" Meesh, don't worry). They were my sisters from plenty of other misters. The coaches I was lucky enough to have guiding me each taught me something new about the game and about myself. Sometimes they made me doubt my mental toughness and overall ability to play, but they gave me opportunities other people only dream of. My college station/high school best friends always showed me a good time in Aggieland, and I hope they consider me an honorary Aggie now, especially since I toughed through those nasty insect encounters (Justin, Ryan, and Bro). Brandon will always be "Bro" to me, and he is my number one main dude, the man that knows me better than I may know myself. Sammy and Kristi listened to me rant day in and day out even though they would rather have been doing other things. Stephanie and Katie provided for so many crazy clinical experiences, and I couldn't have learned or gotten through the hell that is nursing school without them.
Your little baby is all grown up. I'm going to make mistakes, just like I already have (have I said sorry about my car yet?) I am going to come crawling to you for help which you may or may not accept. I'm most certainly still going to find solace in your arms and I'm going to cherish every moment I come home and monopolize the conversation at dinner (sorry Bro).
Either way, the game plan? Let life come at me with full force. Corner? What corner? All I see in the winding road that is my life are forks representing the many different choices I have and the decisions I am going to have to make. The good thing about this next chapter is that I have NO IDEA what to expect, and that is amazingly exhilarating for someone as structured as myself.
So life...BRING IT ON.